you must chill.

"How many of them really know what they want, though? I mean, a lot of them think they have to know, right? But inside they don't really know, so... I don't know, but I know that I don't know."

euphoric

i went upstate with my main squeeze of orange juice saturday night so that he could go snowboarding and so that i could...not go snowboarding. if any of you know my friends kristen, alyssa or lisa, please ask them about the time we went skiing at hunter mountain. i certainly have not forgotten anything about the trip, or the fact that i only made it down the bunny hill one out of seventy-five times.

anyway. i went to woodstock which was the obvious logical choice for me to make. since it's only 35 minutes away from hunter it was really a win-win. i spent way too much money on very necessary purchases like: postcards, posters, tea (three times), soup and a greatful dead vinyl. i'm making it a point to try to get at least one vinyl whenever i'm there because they're usually scratched and warped and sound amazing (i think). i love the people who own the shops there, the townies who roam, the women protesting the war and of course the music playing everywhere, whether it be from radio woodstock, vinyls in stores, or the drugged out hippie playing his guitar on the corner. everything seems more relaxed. it also helped that the sun was shining bright.

there's something about driving on the open road that gets me. especially upstate. i hated upstate when i was forced to live there, and now all i want to do is go back. it honestly has some of the most beautiful sunsets i've ever seen, and being able to sit in silence and stare while feeling completely secure and fulfilled is euphoric for me. and if i'm going to use any word to describe how i felt yesterday, it would be that one. and if there was a playlist that was going on in my mind to go along with yesterday, it would be this one:






Create a playlist at MixPod.com

you don't know

who do you love? and who do you hate? and who do you wish would disappear? and who do you fear? and who makes you sweat? and what is the action that makes you cringe? and you don't believe you did anything wrong. you think of blame as a tomb. you really don't know you really don't know you really don't know and what do you think? what happened to you? cause it all depends on what you do and what can i say? it's not up to me i can't decide who you are. you really don't know you really don't know you really don't know you really don't know you really don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know.

peace is priceless.

WWW.NADUSFILMS.COM

learn about the crisis. see what you can do.

mad, mad world.

"...because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles, exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'awww!'"

WATCH THIS.

one of my favorite songs from an amazing Sigur Rós album, Ágætis Byrjun.
though Sigur reminds me of times and people i'd be happy to not think of, it came on randomly last night and i cannot stop listening.

it is facilitating my mind set lately because it's such a free sounding experimental album.

i just cannot grasp the idea that we have been so conditioned to hide our natural sexuality and bodies, but subtle images are ok. the way that hollywood and this country have portrayed sex i disagree with almost 100%. since certain types of sex are "acceptable" (heterosexual sex with a hot girl and guy with good abs/2 hot lesbians), where does that leave the rest of us? why is a picture of a girl who is naked and above a size 4 judged as less beautiful than a model who's bones you can see? i'm starting to not even understand the words beautiful and ugly.

you're either on the bus, or off the bus.

change is good for the soul. i love sitting on the train with my music and thoughts. it lets me think and my thoughts let me breathe; especially as of late. i'm kind of excited about the future for once in my life. not knowing what's ahead is exciting in a freaky kinda way.