used to love this song at the freeps. recently came back into my life!

  
                                           a half a million thoughts are fumbling through my mind...

someone stay here with me.

Air BnB 

rare find.

  " once in a blue moon, though, you meet someone, and without being particularly melodramatic, they will tell you what's on their mind. they will engage you with real information about who they are, and spend time asking you questions to try  to find out what it is that makes you tick. this sort of person is more interested in getting to know you than trying to convince you to like them. "


                                       ___ lodro rinzler

namaste.

my friends and cousins are obsessed with bikram yoga. i've been "practicing" bikram for about 3 years, but i use the term practicing very loosely. i probably would go once every 6 months. i recently quit my job and have been going through a lot of changes in my personal life, and i figured that this would be the best time to try and heal myself.

i am trying to do the 30 day bikram challenge, but unfortunately i am traveling to the west coast at the end of this week, interrupting my days. doing bikram every day in california is not realistic for me, so even though i have some time in venice beach scheduled, i needed a way around it. today, while at lunch with my cousin i figured out the solution...DOUBLES!

obviously the idea of taking two bikram classes in one day scared the crap out of me. i like to do the accelerated 60 minute yoga. this is high intensity with no breaks. you are just going pose into pose into pose. i love this because it doesn't give your mind time to wander and you really are strong and focused. however, one is rough enough. as i stepped into the 105 degree room at 430 this afternoon my initial reaction was to run to the door. once the door is shut at my studio though, it's shut. so i had this internal conversation of, "you can either lay here in the front row the entire time or you can get your butt up and do it." i did it. and it was a lot easier than i thought. and i feel amazing.

what worked for me: 

       not going right after my first class.
              my first class was at 930 am and my second at 430 pm. this gave my body enough time to rest, hydrate and refuel

       WATER
              just do it. a lot of it. a lot of people say to not drink water right before the next class. i drank it until i had to put it down to begin. i used the bathroom right before the class began and i was completely fine. your mind is really in an alternate state so you're not focused on bodily discomforts as much. you're also sweating. a lot.
 
      switch up the studio/instructor
              i decided to go to two different studios today. mainly just because i wanted to go with my cousin to the second one and she goes to a different one than i do. switching locations makes you feel like you are doing something new and exciting, even if it's the same poses and heat. plus, each teacher brings something different to the table. today i learned a move that would help me deepen my stretch and make me more aligned that was completely missed in my first class. 

    go with a friend to the second class
               it just makes it easier. you're really motivated and someone is helping you through the initial anxiety. my cousin was a huge support system for me today!





i'm by no means very experienced at yoga, but it is something that takes complete body and mind control and really can heal your body and your soul. i finally felt that i was in the right place in my life to take the challenge. it shifts how you spend your day, how you think, what you put into your body...basically how you're living your life. you cannot expect to do bikram for 30 days without altering your lifestyle, you just have to be in the right mindset to do it.
             

tips for a better life.

found this in surf magazine this morning.

written by a homeless man. 

let it roll off

we've all experienced pain and heartbreak. emotions can cause us to feel extremes, whether they be positive or negative. we tend to relish in the negative emotions though, instead of fully feeling the good. i am not immune to being consumed by negative emotions. it can be all that you think about. it can attack you mentally and physically so that the only thing you can do is shut down or spew out something equally as vile. but how is this anyway to live? what if there was a way to acknowledge these emotions, feel them, process them and then let them go? it's not an easy task, but it is something i am actively working towards in my life to create more peace and tranquility. everything can be stressful if we let it, so why not try and just recognize it and deal with it in the moment? this quote from the book i am currently reading, "the buddah walks into a bar..." explains exactly this. it is so, so, so true. 

instead of getting angry at the pain or turning our back to it, all we have to do is be present with what we are feeing. our pain may deliver several jabs to our gut. we may feel like throwing up. however, if we can be present with our pain, it exhausts itself. it sags and alters and ultimately collapses. if we do not indulge our pain but instead just allow ourselves to feel it, we go through an intimate healing process. the pain washes over us like a wave, and we come out the other end unscathed and feeling better for it. 

soul lovin

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

--bob marley

swoop on in

via: bldg25

a laundry list of problems doesn't make you interesting

and never getting help doesn't make you brave 

not listening to reason doesn't mean that you have faith 

you're just cutting off your nose to spite your face

you are the everliving ghost of what once was. 

via flourish

affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
C. S. Lewis

 i think that love is so much easier than you realize.


       if you can give yourself to someone then you should. 

chalk it up to fate

Source: heyokaleather.com via STONE COLD FOX on Pinterest

Under a sky, no one sees,
Waiting, watching it happening.
Don't hurry give it time,
Things are the way they have to be.
Slow down, give it time,
Still life, you know I'm listening.

happiest birth.

you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

s h o o t i n g __

after leaving my friend's house & hearing them talk about how much they hate when girls tell about pointless things that happen to them, i saw this amazing waning crescent moon. naturally, being the weirdo that i am, i had to get out of my car and try to find the best spot to take a photo of it. while i was walking around my block to get a better view, a shooting star went off in the sky. after the shittiest of shitty weeks it took something so small to make me realize how much life goes on. then i called my friend and told him the story.

this makes me happy.

Cross that one off the bucket list

without saying too much, Taylor Hanson personally invited me and 3 of the most important people in my life to his upcoming NY shows complete with Jell-O shots. life dreams really do come true I guess.

everybody get up singing, five will make you get down now.

as tomorrow approaches, the best day of my april for sure, i've obviously been listening to my three main men on repeat on spotify. when i looked at related artists i saw five on there. THEY HAVE A GREATEST HITS ALBUM. my wednesday just changed.

seth cohen is my hero.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/37-reasons-seth-cohen-is-the-perfect-boyfriend

fake < real ///

posting pretty pictures of the universe & change is hopeful. actually getting out there and doing something is reality.

mix tapes.

life. from erin.elizabeth.56481 on 8tracks Radio.

making mixes is one of my absolute favorite things to do. i haven't made one in about a year, so i decided to get back on it.

boy shivers.

i can feel it deep down in my soul, in the top of my head to the tip of my toes. i’m telling you darling, you’re making me weak. making me tired, unable to speak. i never knew something so good could be bad, and what you have got is the best that i’ve had. so won’t you please show me, again and again. make my head twirl, make my head spin. 

cuteness.

who'd have thought that after all

something as simple as rock & roll would save us all. 

i searched the universe till i fell out the other side.

and i want you to know i am both happy and sad, and i'm still trying to figure out how that can be.

strength & positivity.

i don't talk about super personal things on this. it's my blog, i can really write whatever i want, but there's certain things i like to keep private. however. recently i've been talking to more and more of my friends breaking up with exes and getting broken up with, living in pits of non-commitment or hooking up with random guys to kill the pain of loneliness, and it just made me start thinking about it all. first thing, you have to love yourself and be confident before you can successfully be with someone else. living in a relationship where you're there solely to be cared for is not healthy for you or your partner. after being in a long term relationship where i felt that i needed to stay because i needed someone to take care of me, i realized that this is not the way it should be. luckily he made the decision i had desperately wanted but wasn't strong enough to do myself. i wasn't comfortable enough to be on my own. now, i'm strong, independent and happy with myself only because of what i am doing. i don't think this is something i could have realized if i was still in a relationship. i see this with my friends as well. they are all making decisions based on creating a positive change in their own lives, whether by their own choices or the choices of another. this isn't to knock the relationships they had. they were important and extremely real. i hate seeing my friends, and myself included, living in this idea that we need the fairy tale and that we will never find true love. people need that closeness, the intimacy, the love, but we don't need to be with someone just to be with someone. we are beautiful and strong by ourselves. if he only wants sex, and you want something more...don't do it. if he was screwing you, ditched you, and is now back...he just needs something to screw. if he's not making you a priority, he's not worth your time. stop being so concerned with who you're going to end up with and more about what you're going to do today. when you're living your life, laughing, and being comfortable in your own skin you will get the person that deserves your time, or you will be strong in your own life, living for what you believe in. trust me on this one.

can't stop listening to this band.

kristen f*****g felicione.

#loveyousoup

my soulmate is home from saving the world.
now the other one just needs to come back. 

i hope it's just a phase.

and i 

i don't really care about

anybody else when i haven't got my own life figured out.

cause when you're young and bored and 24

and don't know who you are no more. 

laughter cures all.

sometimes you just need to laugh with your best friends to make everything better. i got dinner with one of my bests tonight and as always, he made me choke on my food and i was crying at the table (in the best way possible). since we know basically everything about each other and hold nothing back, i think the surrounding tables either figured we were related or were so far gone into our relationship that rules no longer applied. i'm proud to say that majority of my best friends from high school have remained my really good friends. not too many people can say that, so i'm extremely fortunate. thanks for making it better, bud.

may angels lead you in

death is a really difficult thing. i've never lost anyone really close with me until now, and as much as you think you can prepare yourself you never really can. floods of memories come back to provide comfort, but also are difficult. she was an amazing woman. she always told the best jokes, the rudest jokes, and made the best faces. once someone passes, everyone always talks about how amazing they were, and talks about all of their great attributes. luckily, we told her constantly throughout her life. she knew how amazing she was, and that gives me the greatest comfort of all. rest in peace my angel.